Sound ... Just how loud is too loud?

Right now my children and guest are watching the third movie in the "Fast & Furious" series. I remember listening to music really loud as a teen, or maybe it's a sign of my getting older, but SHEESH! Do they have to blast the noise levels that loud? Not the kids, the filmmakers! I have surround sound speakers in order to really enjoy the music and sound effects of movies, but for goodness sakes, not to blast our what is left of my hearing. And what of the movie makers? Are they not aware that the sound gets louder during the action scenes and then quiet during the talk scenes? Do we have to sit here with the remote in hand and turn the volume up and down with each scene? Seems to me, with technology being what it is today, that someone would have invented a device that automatically sets a movie's sounds to a tolerable level regardless of scene and NOT one capable of blasting one's ear drums out!